I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
