Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
