why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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