it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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