Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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