Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
