I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize