He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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