we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
