Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
birth control should be required to get into college
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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