There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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