On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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