I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
