drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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