Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
