He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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