Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize