There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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