you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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