Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
