Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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