i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
