She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
