you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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