She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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