My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i believe in u and ur pee
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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