It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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