So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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