just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
