Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
