My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
