When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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