This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
