Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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