I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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