For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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