Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
