Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
