Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
