Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
