What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
