As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
