my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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