I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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