Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
