im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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