Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
