It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
