i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
