It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
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I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
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I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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