so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
