Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize