I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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