My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
