u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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