Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
